Are you a real Land Rover owner

Verfasst am: 23.06.2008 13:55:21 Titel: Are you a real Land Rover owner

How to know when you're a Land Rover owner:

-If you go to get the Sunday paper and come back on Monday without it.
-If you use a hose to clean the inside and the outside.
-When the best route from point A to point B is through the mud.
-When a scratch or a dent is a beauty mark.
-You roll your Rover over and look for it's thingy.
-Your mom and sister can't get in without help.
-You judge every hill you see by how much fun it would be to climb.
-You search for trails in an USAF helicopter.
-You puke when you see a Geo Tracker.
-You get custom pin-striping from trail brush.
-If it takes more than 6 hours to get donuts.
-When you pull into the unplowed parking spots on snowy days.
-When you take your friends wheeling and they say "What trail -I don't see a trail!"
-Your friends won't ride with you 'cause they don't want to wind up in the desert in the middle of the night.
-When your boss's secretary calls to "recommend" that you wash your Rover
-When you finally wash the mud off, everyone thinks you bought a new Rover.
-You carry emergency supplies and clothing because you never know where you will end up.
-When your Nerf bars battle rocks and win.
-When it rains and you don't care that your tops and doors are off.
-When you drive around to look at Christmas lights topless.
-When you change your plugs in the parking lot at work on a break.
-If your "Parts Dept." is on blocks behind your house.
-When you take your Mom wheeling and she has to help you flip the Rover back onto its wheels again.
-You use an ice-scraper on the INSIDE of the windshield.
-You get more heat from holes in the floorboards than through the heater vents.
-Every page of your repair manual has fingerprints.
-Passengers scream "DON'T ROLL IT!" when you take them wheeling.
-You spend more time under your Rover than under your significant other.
-Winter comes and you can't remember where you left the roof.
-You spend more on car washes than on insurance.
-Even worse the car wash won't let you in.
-You complain about everything but smile when you fix everything yourself.
-When you think Mud Brown should be a factory paint color.
-When you feel sorry for someone in a $60,000 Toyota Land Cruiser.
-When you have all your credit card numbers memorized.
-When you slam the door and part of your Rover crumbles to the ground.
-If you get asked to pick up your co-workers in a snow storm and get paid for it.
-Your wife/girlfriend refuses to get in it.
-You are the only one on the street who doesn't plow their driveway.
-You try to run the plow trucks off the road when it snows.
-You have a high-water mark INSIDE the Rover.
-The first word out of your 2 year old's mouth isn't Mommy or Daddy, it's Rover!!!

Verfasst am: 23.06.2008 13:57:16 Titel:

- Stop Laughing, put the camera away and get a tow rope!
- If my wife was this dirty, I'd have stayed at home!
- The car in front of you is NOT A BLOODY j**p!!!
- To Infinity & Beyond 1948-2003
- Land Rover 0-60 in Three Weeks!
- A Land Rover is for LIFE - not just for Christmas
- Keep Your distance - you never know what will fall off
- Warning: This Vehicle Bites!
- Please remember - YOU ARE MY CRUMPLE ZONE
- I may be driving a tin bucket - but which scrap yard will yours be in when it's the same age?!
- Cats have nine lives, but this Land Rover has 750's!!
- If you can read this please flip me over!
- WARNING: This Landrover may contain NUTS!
- Don't wash me - just plant Potatoes!
- This Vehicle has more leaks than the Titanic
- When you occasionally find rust flakes in your ears.
- If you keep these strange Imperial-thread bolts in your pocket in case the dashboard falls off.
- When you dream of burned Lucas electrics when your wife smokes a cigarette in bed
- If 10 lbs of of prime top soil fall on the tarmac when you smack your door shut
- When even Russians don't believe your truck is only 20 years old
- When there are more tools in the truck than in your house
- When the GPS in your vehicle has the main purpose to replace the speedo and odometer
- You can't decide whether to park on a hill in case your starter fails or on the flat in case your handbrake fails.
- You put your coat on as you get INTO your car.
- When you borrow your Mums 1litre Vauxhall Corsa it feels like a sports car.
- If, whilst driving, you frequently turn down the volume of the stereo .... to check for new noises.
- You stop at a petrol station to top up oil and to check the petrol level.
- Police officers shake your hand when they issue you a speeding ticket.
- People in VW camper vans follow you so they can watch someone else break down.

Verfasst am: 23.06.2008 13:58:41 Titel:

and a few jokes which somehow are true, too...

A body engineer from Land Rover goes on an exchange visit to Toyota in Japan and watches the engineers developing the latest Land Cruiser bodyshell. He notices that on the workbench they have a cat in a small cage and he asks what it's for. The Japanese engineer tells him when they have finished a Land Cruiser they lock a cat in it and go home. If the cat is dead when they return in the morning they know the shutlines on the doors are up to their high standards. The LR guy likes this idea and when he gets back to Solihull he takes a cat to work and locks it in a Defender and goes home for the night. When he returns in the morning the cat is gone.

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Land Rovers are like women:
They leak when you don't want them to, moan on long journey's, embarrass you in front of friends and peers, and consume more money than you ever expected once you've commit yourself to one.

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Did you hear about the man whose Land Rover didn't leak oil?
The factory took it back and worked on it until it did.

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Did you hear the one about the guy that peeked into a Land Rover and asked the owner "How can you tell one switch from another at night? They all look the same.
He replied, "It doesn't matter which one you use, nothing happens !"

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-The Lucas motto: "Get home before dark."
-Lucas - "Inventor" of the first intermittent wiper.
-Lucas - Inventor of the self-dimming headlamp.
-Land Rover three position headlight switch - Dim, Flicker and Off.
-The Original Anti-Theft Device - Lucas Electrics.
-"I have had a Lucas pacemaker for years and have never had any trou..."
-If Lucas made guns, wars would not start...

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Q: Why do the British drink warm beer?
A: Because Lucas makes their refrigerators...

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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.'So that was nice.

Offroader Mit dabei seit Anfang 2007 Status: Verschollen

Yes Land Rover Driver s are not normal

Hau mich, ich bin der Frühling

but we Lover our Car Love it

Verfasst am: 23.06.2008 14:07:38 Titel:

Urgestein Mit dabei seit Mitte 2005 Wohnort: SALZGITTER

ich hab meinen 109 1993 in einzelteilen gekauft
und selbst mit einem kolegen zusammen geschraubt,zählt das Unsicher

Verfasst am: 23.06.2008 14:29:16 Titel:

Ja, das zaehlt ganz sicher, Siggi YES

Verfasst am: 23.06.2008 14:57:23 Titel:

Lucas - Fürst der Finsternis... rotfl

Dazu einen ganz alten...

Three mechanics were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.
The first mechanic finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands. He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully. He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried.

Turning to the other two, he says, "At Toyota, we are trained to be extremely thorough."

The second mechanic finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel. He turns and says, "At Rover, not only are we trained to be extremely thorough, but we are also trained to be extremely efficient."

The third mechanic finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder: "At Jeep, we don't pee on our hands!"

Verfasst am: 23.06.2008 14:59:41 Titel:

Dazu passt der Kunde der gerade hier ist von Auswärts mit seinem brandneuen Rubicon. Der fragt nach einer Fachwerkstatt weil was mit der Gasannahme nicht stimmt Hau mich, ich bin der Frühling

Verfasst am: 23.06.2008 15:05:54 Titel:

Schickst Du ihn:

KFZ Technik Werner Hamann
Landshuter Str. 46
D - 85368 Moosburg / Isar
Tel.: +49 (0)8761 726434
Fax: +49 (0)8761 726435
Mail:

Verfasst am: 23.06.2008 15:07:49 Titel:

Hat eben selber handyisch mit seinem Verkäufer gesprochen welcher ihn in die Wasserburger Landstr geschickt hat.
Jaja, Land Rover + Lucas = Respekt

vor soviel Elektrikknowhow Hau mich, ich bin der Frühling

Urgestein Mit dabei seit Mitte 2005 Wohnort: SALZGITTER

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